I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
