bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
