The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
