i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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