i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
