For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
