I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
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It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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