ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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