This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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