so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
we should paint friendship bongs
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
