So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
