Non-Jews are for practice
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
