i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
