I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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