why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
