I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
