Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
