I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
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