I think my fart just growled at me.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I am one with the molecules
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
