PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize