just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
