just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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