Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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