Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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