So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
