i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
