How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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