im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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