forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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