and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
