i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
