NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
