That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I don't deserve a penis
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize