I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
