He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize