You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
