Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
