Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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