SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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