But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Your face is a jimmy john
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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