My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
