So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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