watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize