they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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