he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize