It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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