bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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