found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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