i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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