he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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