At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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