nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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