how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
