woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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