Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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