That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
