I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
