you didnt know i had herpes?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
