My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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